Is it okay to feign belief?

it is not ok to feighn it because that is blasphemy to God, if it is intentional. You should read the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. He is not imaginary. Satan is your problem. He is trying to turn you away because he does not want you turning to the Lord and will try anything. There is a small part of you that knows God is authentic but you are being led to believe otherwise by the evil one. This world did not poof up on its own and I believe you are aware of that. You are rebelling and that will get you nothing good when we stand before Him on judgement day. When the names are read, you will want yours in there. Read the gospels and pray for understanding and wisdom and for Him to open your eyes to this. It may feel like He is not there when you are in lowest times, but He is. These are our trials and tribulations that are to build faith. You may have doubt but ask Him to help you with this. He loves you. Be strong in your trials and resist the evil one. God bless you:)